A Hard Confession To Make
by book.lover1123
Summary: Set during/after The Return. Kinda AU. Elizabeth is working in D.C. again and John is there answering some more I.O.A. questions. He runs into Elizabeth and ends up doing something he never thought he would. After a little help from Jack of course... :D


**A little Sparky fic that I've had lying around. Thought I should post it before I throw it out. Right after the Lanteans take back Atlantis. Elizabeth is back in D.C. John has come to D.C. to answer some questions the I.O.A. had and decided to go see her. **

John stared after her. He knew that his heart couldn't take this much longer. He couldn't watch her go on with her life, dating other men, finding another job, living miles away. He knew that his heart would eventually break when she was gone. He would eventually give into the tears that he never knew he had and he would spend countless nights staring at the wall, no chance of sleep with all of his thoughts surrounding this woman.

She laughed at something the tall stranger said. John winced as she laid a hand on the man's arm. How could something that didn't even make contact with him hurt him so much? He tore his eyes away from the scene. Yes, he would break down. But not now. Not with her standing so near.

"John?"

His eyes slid shut at the sound of her voice. It was so musical, so delicate. He opened his eyes again and pasted on a smile. "Oh hey Elizabeth! Fancy running into you here!" He exclaimed.

His breath caught as she flashed him a smile. The smile that was always his, never given to anyone else. "It's so good to see you! What are you doing in Washington?" She asked.

"Oh you know. General O'Neill wanted some of the intel on the expedition. Military knowledge and stuff like that." He lied.

Her brows furrowed. "I wonder why he didn't call me. I gave him all the information on the-" She glanced at the man behind her and swallowed her words. "On the incident."

John shrugged. "Well, maybe he just wanted a personal perspective. Reports aren't always that informative."

She grinned. "If they were your reports, most definitely not." She joked.

He mocked hurt. "Why Elizabeth I never knew you could be so cruel."

She laughed lightly and his smile returned.

The man behind her made a small cough. John could have strangled him then and there for taking away that moment. Elizabeth turned and pulled on the man's arm till he was beside her.

"John, this is Frank Petersen. We graduated the same year from law school. Frank, this is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. We worked on the Antarctica Expedition together."

The men exchanged handshakes and polite smiles. David then turned and leaned close to her ear. "Um, Lizzie, that table at Jeren's isn't gonna be there for long…." He said quietly.

She smiled at him apologeticly. "You're right. I'm sorry." She turned to John and took his hand, giving it a slight squeeze. "If you're in D.C. again look me up first ok? It was really good to see you!" The smile on her face was genuine but John couldn't bring himself to give her the same one back. He did his best to keep his soldier mask intact.

"Yeah, I will." He replied, forcing the words out of his mouth.

She raised an eyebrow at his reaction and was about to question it when Frank stretched out a hand.

"Nice to meet you John!" He said happily.

John again wondered how bad it would be for an Air Force officer to kill a civilian in broad daylight. But for Elizabeth's sake, he kept his thoughts to himself and merely nodded to the man.

They turned and walked away, standing so close together. John turned away as quickly as quick as he could to get the image out of his mind. That was all he needed. Another scene where Elizabeth wasn't his.

He walked back to his rental and just sat in it. Everything had gone wrong. First they'd lost Carson, then Atlantis, now he'd lost Elizabeth. He didn't think he could take it. He let his head rest on the steering wheel and he stared at the floor of the car. No tears. No, those would never come now. They would be a relief from this pain. He knew that no matter what he did, they'd never come now.

Suddenly there was a tap on his window. John jerked upwards and found Jack O'Neill standing outside his car. John scrambled to get out of the vehicle.

"Hey kid. You busy?" The general asked seriously.

"No sir."

"It's Jack, remember? And don't look so freaked out. It's just gonna be a few minutes. I'm not shipping you off to another galaxy… yet."

John smiled ruefully at the thought of getting to go back to the Pegasus Galaxy. He followed Jack around to the front of the car where the older man was leaning against the hood. John mimicked his pose and stared out over the park. They could see the whole city from here. Every monument, every government building. John sighed. He could even see the place that Elizabeth worked at.

Jack watched him for a few minutes. Then he broke the silence. "It's hard isn't it?" He finally asked.

John sent him a questioning glance.

"Being in love, but not being able to say anything." Jack explained.

John began to cover his tracks, but the look Jack sent him stilled the words on his tongue. He sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Is it really that obvious?"

Jack chuckled. "Only to those who've gone through it." He replied.

John's interest was sparked. Since when did O'Neill have a love life?

"Oh yes, I've had my share of 'that thing called love.' I would've denied it to anyone who said anything. Just like you were going to now. Same old, 'I could never be in a relationship with her!' would always jump out and people would believe it. Even she believed it. For a while.

"But funny thing was, I could never get myself to believe it. I wanted to, just so I could move on. Tried to a couple of times. But I always ended up back where I started. Right next to her. But she had moved on too. Actually got engaged."

There was a pause and John could feel the pain in Jack's voice. "I'm sorry sir." He said quietly.

Jack looked up at him with a half-smile. "Took me eight years to get it right. Don't wait that long kid. Don't waste another second."

John was confused again.

"I said she got engaged. Didn't say she got married." Jack grinned. "No, I was lucky. She called it off a couple weeks before. Turns out she couldn't move on either. She transferred to another department. I moved to Washington. It was a long distance relationship, but at least it was a relationship."

He gripped John's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "You want her in your life? Go get her. Do whatever it takes. If you want her that badly, you'll do anything to get her back. It doesn't matter what other people think, or what they could do. Heck the worst that could happen is that they leave one of you on earth! At least you'd know how she really felt. Wouldn't that be worth it? So do it. Before it's too late."

And then he left. He walked back down the hill that he had come up from leaving John almost open-mouthed. The head of Homeworld security had just given him permission to go after the woman of his dreams.

He watched the older man as he continued down the hill towards a woman with blonde hair. She smiled as he approached and John recognized the face. He shook his head in disbelief. Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill. Who would've guessed.

She greeted Jack with a small kiss. John was envious of their open manner, but wasn't that what Jack had told him to go do?

As if he had read John's thoughts, they turned towards him. He saw Sam giggle as Jack cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted across to him.

"SHE'S NOT GONNA WAIT FOREVER!"

John waved in reply laughing. He made his way around to the side of his car and got in. He sat there for a moment. Was he really going to do it? Did he have any right to spoil her happiness? What if she didn't feel the same way? What if she did?

Questions swirled through his head, but he looked at Jack and Sam again, each with an arm around the other walking to the other parking lot his mind was silenced. If they could do it, he could.

He pulled out his phone and texted McKay. He needed to know were Jaren's was.

About an hour later he pulled up to a small restaurant with the word JAREN's painted in elegant lettering across the window. It was fancy. Too fancy. John was still wearing his uniform, but it was wrinkled from the day's travel. He sat for a moment debating again with the idea of going in. But Jack's words came back to him.

_"Took me eight years to get it right. Don't wait that long kid. Don't waste another second."_

He got out of the car and took a deep breath. _Ok John. Don't blow it ._He made his way to the entrance, flashing a smile to the host.

"Hello sir! What can I do for you?"

John hesitated again. "Did a Doctor Elizabeth Weir check in?"

The man looked through his book. "Yes, Doctor Weir and the Petersens. They're in the next room over. Would you like me to give her a message?" He asked.

"No, I'll talk to her myself thanks." John replied.

"Uh, sir. I don't-"

John walked past him ignoring his plea to wait there for her. If John waited any longer he was gonna lose his nerve. He walked into the room that the host had gestured to and looked around the room. It didn't take him long to spot her. Her auburn hair was curled gently above her shoulders. Her green eyes sparkled with laughter. Her red dress complimented her complexion and reminded him of the shirts she would wear in Atlantis. He stood a moment, in awe of her taking a mental picture of everything about her. It may be the last time he saw her.

Before the host could catch up to him, he moved forward again. His heart pounded in his chest as he approached the table. As if she could sense he was near, Elizabeth looked up and scanned the room. When she saw him, her face lit up.

His stomach flipflopped. How on earth did she do that? Turn his insides to mush?

"John!" She exclaimed as he arrived at the table. "I thought you were headed back to Colorado."

He didn't care about the other people at the table. Only her. "I was. But I talked with General O'Neill again. He said some things that got me thinking."

"Oh?" She looked confused.

"Yeah. Elizabeth, I love you. It's taken me years to finally say it but I love you. If you don't feel the same, I understand but I needed to say it." He turned to the others at the table, barely registering that there were five people there.

"I'm sorry but I had to do it." He turned back to Elizabeth, her face stunned. "And what I would like to know now is, do you love me?"

Her head dropped, blushing furiously. She turned to look at the man John had seen her with earlier. He cringed inwardly. He should've known better. How could she ever love him? He was a flyboy, a Kirk. He'd never be what she wanted.

"Sorry I interrupted your dinner. Have a good night." He gave a half-hearted wave to the people at the table and headed back the way he had come.

He was out the door in less time than he had taken getting in. He jogged down the street to his car and slammed a fist down on the roof. _Way to go John! Just destroy a perfectly good friendship all because you had to share your lady-feelings! _He hit the car again, softer this time and leaned onto it, his hands clasped in front of him. He let his head touch the car in defeat. He wished he'd never talked to Jack. Never listened to him. Now he'd never have a chance with her. He'd never be able to see her again without her feeling awkward. He shook his head. Good job flyboy. Way to mess it up again.

"Are you going to abuse that car all night or did you want to hear my answer?"

John whirled around. Elizabeth stood there, her shoes in her hand and her coat drapped over one arm. Her hair was disheveled from running but she couldn't look any more perfect.

"What?" He asked.

"You ran out of there before you let me answer you." She said accusingly. "Didn't you want my answer?"

"I thought-" He started.

"Yeah, I know what you were thinking John. Would you like to know what I was thinking?"

He nodded meekly. She walked slowly towards him. "I was thinking that you are the most arrogant, most reckless and insane guy I've ever met." She exclaimed jabbing her finger into his chest.

He looked down at the ground feeling like a school kid getting detention. But this time it hurt more. Why on earth did he think that he ever had a chance with her? What was he thinking going in there telling her straight out like that?

But suddenly her finger and the rest of her hand pressed gently against his chest. The touch set his skin on fire.

"That and the sweetest, most caring, wonderful man in two galaxies."

His eyes shot up to meet hers. Instead of finding irritation he saw a smile. The kind she saved for only him. Still he wasn't sure. "What?" he asked, his voice showing his shock.

Elizabeth shook her head and chuckled. "From that first day I saw you in the ancient chair I knew you'd be trouble." She met his eyes again giving him a small smile. "I just never thought it'd be this kind of trouble."

John was speechless. Elizabeth took advantage of his silent state and pulled his head down so that their foreheads were touching.

"Say it again." She whispered.

"Say what?" He finally managed.

She giggled softly. "What you said in the restaurant."

His brain finally caught up with him and he gingerly slipped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. "I love you Elizabeth."

Her eyes slipped closed and a smile spread across her face. "You know how long I've been waiting to hear that?"

"As long as I've been trying to get the nerve up to say it." He replied with face splitting grin.

She opened her eyes again, bringing a hand up to caress his face. He waited a moment in silence, her touch rendering him speechless yet again. He wished he had told her years ago.

Finally he found his voice. "You never did give me your answer." He said quietly. His hand coming up behind her neck.

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Ask me again."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes John. I love you."


End file.
